Susan Mettes, the author of the Loneliness Epidemic, says that 3 in 10 Americans report feeling lonely at least once each day. We live in a constantly socially connected world through social media platforms but are still drastically malnourished in the meaningful emotional intimacy we crave. Though everyone feels lonely, certain groups are more at risk of feeling loneliest. If the church is meant to provide a place of community and connectedness, we need to pay close attention to these groups and their specific needs.
Loneliest Group #1: Young Adults
Research by the Barna Group indicates that the younger the generation, the higher percentage of people who feel lonely often or all the time. While only 4% of Boomers felt lonely all the time, this number raised to 22% of Millennials. We know from another study conducted by Cigna Health that 48.3% of Gen Z participants said they sometimes or always felt isolated from others. This makes Gen Z the loneliest generation yet.
The church has a unique opportunity to provide community to this group through youth groups and young adult groups. Most churches have a pastor on staff specifically tasked with reaching these generations. The vital thing to recognize is that these students have no lack of social touchpoints online, and their days are primarily spent in classes. So, what they need most is an authentic community. Rather than centering your youth programs around a class, a study, or a cool digital resource, focus on ways to cultivate genuine relationships and meaningful interactions.
Loneliest Group #2: Unmarried Adults
Because Christian culture promotes marriage above other forms of partnership in our culture, unmarried adults can easily fall through the cracks. Many churches are focused on providing quality premarital counseling, marriage groups, and parenting resources. Unfortunately, when the focus is primarily on helping families, the people needing a second family feel out of place and alone. In the Barna study, 56% of married adults hadn’t experienced loneliness in the previous week, but only 38% of single adults could agree. This means a staggering 37% felt lonely all day or part of the day, and 24% felt lonely at least one day of the week.
Our culture does not provide a natural outlet for single adults other than going to bars and engaging in often unhealthy dating culture for companionship. The church has a long history of being distinct from this. For centuries, unmarried adults and widows have found a family within the community of believers. While culturally, our modern protestant church doesn’t always excel in this, we have never lost the foundation we have in the family of God. As believers, our group identity is not based on a life stage or a relationship status, so we can form groups where people of all phases feel welcomed and loved.
Loneliest Group #3: People with Health Conditions
A study by the Kaiser Family Foundation reported that 47% of adults with mental health conditions and 45% of people with other debilitating conditions said they always or often felt lonely or isolated. Those who struggle with depression, anxiety, BPD, OCD, or other mental health disorders can easily feel like they are the only ones in their situation. It’s difficult to feel like you don’t have control over your mood or mental well-being. It can also hinder one from developing close relationships when it’s overwhelming to engage with people deeply, or when unhealthy coping mechanisms push them away.
The same can apply to those with chronic health conditions. Anyone who faces chronic pain or long-term health struggles knows how much it can hinder you from living your everyday life. It can significantly impede your social opportunities if you can’t go out with friends or eat at their favorite restaurant.
The church should be a place where people of all abilities can feel at home. This means we should be intentional not to judge someone for sporadic attendance or limited social capacity. Sometimes people don’t have the bandwidth to engage as much as they’d like because their mental or physical limitations prevent challenges. Rather than taking it personally or assuming they don’t care, it’s helpful to learn their specific needs and take the initiative to follow up with them in the way they need love.
Where to Go From Here
If your church doesn’t have a strategy to provide resources and an authentic community to these three loneliest groups, you are missing potential opportunities to meet research-backed needs within your community. Brainstorming ideas for some groups might be easier than others if your church already has a framework in place for one group. However, you want to be the kind of church that provides a community to those who are most in need of it. You may need to get creative or talk to people with different perspectives to learn how you can best serve those in your midst who are young, unmarried, or struggle with health conditions. A little compassion goes a long way, and a small tweak in your church culture could make all the difference for someone who currently feels on the fringe.
