If you’re like me, you’ve probably heard this verse countless times: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. Who can know it?” — Jeremiah 17:9 (KJV)
It’s one of those verses that gets quoted often—especially in circles that deeply value obedience, holiness, and submission to God (all good things!). But here’s the problem:
When you’re a perfectionist, people-pleaser, or chronic overthinker who already struggles to trust yourself… this verse can feel like confirmation that your desires, thoughts, and emotions are inherently dangerous and untrustworthy.
And that can lead to deep, spiritual self-betrayal.
When “Don’t Follow Your Heart” Becomes Spiritual Dismissal
Many of us have internalized a version of Christianity that keeps us second-guessing ourselves. We believe that to follow God means that we should not “follow our heart.” So, we dismiss what we feel, want, or sense—because “our hearts are deceitful,” right?
But here’s the tension:
This mindset doesn’t always come from God. Sometimes, it stems from fear, insecurity, or even the impact of others’ sin on our lives.
Humble submission to God stems from biblical living. But self-doubt and insecurity stem from a world broken by sin.
So we end up distrusting not only ourselves—but our ability to hear from God at all.
What If the Problem Isn’t Your Heart, But Your Fear?
Let me ask you this:
Are you impulsive, prone to chasing whatever big, unachievable dreams come to mind in the moment…running on a hope and a prayer to get you there?
OR do you overanalyze, weigh every pro and con, and seek constant reassurance from other people before making a move?
If you’re the second type of person—slow to act, fearful of making mistakes, and hesitant to trust your gut—it’s possible you’re not acting out of a selfish heart… but out of self-betrayal.
You’ve learned to mistrust your own discernment. And you’ve applied that distrust to spiritual concepts like this one, hence overspiritualizing your fear and suppressing the thoughts and emotions within you. If we are too careful or cautious to trust our gut and acknowledge our deeply held desires, that fear can paralyze us from moving forward in obedience to what God may actually be urging us to do.
Yes, the Heart Is Flawed… But It’s Also Being Redeemed
It’s true: none of us sees the whole picture of God’s plan for us. We need to seek Him in an intimate relationship, knowing that our Creator knows us better than we will ever know ourselves. Our pain, our scars, our sin, our fear, and our pride all cloud our vision of reality sometimes. We need Him to provide for our needs and guide our steps. Faithful living requires humility before Him and a discernment to identify when we are being motivated by desires that are contrary to His will. However, this doesn’t mean every desire is automatically wicked.
Psalm 37:4 says: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
Notice: it doesn’t say God will give you desires to ignore. Instead, it’s teaching us that when our delight is in Christ and His Word, our desires will start to align with His.
So rather than dismissing your desires outright, maybe it’s time to get curious. Ask:
Why do I want this?
What does this desire reveal about the state of my heart?
Where might this desire take me?
How might this desire help me love God, others, or myself better?
Could this be something God is stirring within me?
Sometimes I know God is moving in my heart because I start to desire something I’d not previously wanted. Other times, I start to see God open doors to fulfill desires I’d always had but never felt peace about until now. When you look at your life as a partnership with God, the desires He places in your heart (even the super-specific ones, or the ones that don’t seem particularly spiritual) can be part of how He leads you. This can be confirmed and prayed over through studying His Word, and remaining in community with other believers and mentors.
You Were Designed to Hear from God
God didn’t design you to constantly live in fear of getting it wrong. So let my words free you from that right now, for “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7, ESV)
Instead, God designed you with:
A brain to process knowledge, perceive data, interpret information, and develop wisdom
A body that can participate with the world around you and actively engage with sensory input and other people
Emotions, intuition, and desires that help you navigate your experiences—alerting you when something is off, drawing you toward what’s meaningful, and aligning with how God uniquely wired your personality
A spiritual capacity to connect with God, perceive truth that transcends matter, and respond to His voice
So when you reject yourself, you’re also closing off one of the ways you were created to engage with God and discern how He is speaking to you.
That voice inside—the longing for peace, for truth, for goodness, for joy—isn’t something to fear. It’s something to bring to Jesus, in relationship.
Learning to Discern: Not a Pass/Fail Test
Sometimes we treat discernment like a tightrope—we’re terrified that if we lean an inch to the left or right, we’ll fall completely out of God’s will. But following Jesus isn’t a pass/fail test. It’s a relationship. And like any relationship, it’s something we grow in through time, practice, and honest conversation.
You don’t have to hear God perfectly to be in His will.
You don’t have to always know the “right” thing before making a move.
You’re allowed to try something, learn, adjust, and try again.
Discerning your desires—just like discerning God’s voice—is something we practice. We learn to recognize when something aligns with God’s character. We learn to tell when something’s off. And when we get it wrong? The burden of clarity is on Him. If you’re walking with Him and seeking Him, you can trust that He’ll redirect you if needed.
And sometimes? Ambiguity isn’t a trick. It’s an invitation.
God isn’t always testing us—sometimes He’s empowering us.
As Jesus said, we are no longer servants but friends (John 15:15). And friends are trusted with freedom and agency. That means you can ask Him for wisdom, make a decision, and walk forward with confidence—even if there isn’t one “perfect” choice.
For My Fellow Perfectionists, People Pleasers, and Overthinkers…
You don’t need to have 100% certainty to move forward.
You don’t need to silence every emotion to stay spiritual.
You don’t have to earn permission to want what you want.
Instead of distrusting yourself by default, practice dialogue with God.
Practice asking, listening, and trusting.
Let Scripture and community affirm what He’s already whispering.
Try something. See what happens. Learn. Adjust.
He’s not withholding approval until you “get it right.”
He’s walking with you—even through trial and error.
Your heart isn’t perfect—but it’s being shaped by the One who knows it best.
And He’s not afraid of your questions, your process, or your pace.
So maybe the real question isn’t, “Can I trust my heart?” Maybe it’s:
“Can I trust His presence more than I fear my missteps?”
“Can I trust that the process matters—that walking with God in the questions is just as valuable as finding the answers?”
Because if so, then there’s nothing to fear when life feels unclear.
Want More Encouragement Like This?
If you’re recovering from burnout, perfectionism, or a faith of more like pressure than peace—you’re not alone.
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