Growing up in the church, my great desire was to please God and to please the people who knew Him. This seems like a simple goal, and I felt like I’d been fairly successful as a teenager. It wasn’t until I grew older and began examining my upbringing that I realized how complex it had become, not because Scripture is unclear, but because I had internalized so many extra expectations from Christian subculture.
My whole world was church. I served as a nursery worker, Sunday School teacher, Awana leader, youth group leader, worship team member, camp counselor, and attended other Christian programming sometimes up to 6 days out of a week. Because I spent my first 22 years of life in this environment, I can speak with authority on both the benefits and blunders that come with church immersion. From Veggie Tales to Tim Tebow – I could reference Christian subculture like I had a doctoral degree in it from A to Z. I have observed firsthand how much the cultural and systemic influences in the church can have a significant effect on our personal faith.
The Invisible Barriers to a Healthy Community
Whether you came to faith later in life and are now raising your children in the church, or whether you have been a church kid from birth like me, I am convinced anyone who knows what WWJD means should read this post. My objective with this blog series is not to tear the church down. Instead, I want to strip away the invisible barriers that are robbing us so we won’t have to keep apologizing for Christianity and instead can just enjoy Jesus to the fullest.
As with many health issues, we don’t always notice when environmental factors are stripping our quality of life until we experience something better. For example, someone who functions adequately on 6 hours of sleep a night may not realize how much more energy they would have on 8 hours until they have a good night’s sleep for the first time. It’s like a whole new world opens up that they didn’t realize existed. That is my desire for our churches, many of whom are dealing with their own spiritual chronic health issues.
Diagnosing Chronic Issues in the Church
Just like we diagnosed our own idolatry in the previous article in this series, diagnosis usually begins with asking questions. In a Church culture that often finds security in already knowing the answers, sometimes asking questions can be scary. When we know the right answers and stop there, it keeps us from exercising a curiosity that could bring us into a deeper and richer understanding. So, are we willing to practice this courageous curiosity together?
Fundamentally, we are taught that we can please God by obeying His commandments. So, theoretically, the method we might use to examine how we are doing (our performance review, of sorts) would be simply looking at God’s commandments and identifying if our lives are in line with them. Though this is a good place to start, it can be far too individualistic. Our individualist society emphasizes a personal relationship with God over everything else. Theologically, this personal choice does play a role in salvation, but when we venture into the topic of sanctification, this Western mindset is far too modern and far too simplistic. The Christian life is not meant to be lived alone. Is the church of any value unless there is something more to faith than merely a personal connection with God?
Our faith is expressed in community. This is not a dramatically groundbreaking concept because this is the case for all of our lives. Our work and career are expressed in the context of community. Our roles within our family are expressed within a community. Our participation as citizens of our city and country is expressed within community as well. And while we each have an effect on the culture in which we live, the culture also has an effect on us.
The Ripple Effect of Christian Subcultures and Ecosystems
For the majority reading this post, American culture is the dominant culture in which you were raised. But when raised in Christianity, a fairly prominent subculture also plays a role. According to this social sciences resource, “In sociology, anthropology, and cultural studies, a subculture is a group of people with a culture that differentiates themselves from the larger culture to which they belong. Subcultures often consist of symbolism attached to clothing, music, and other visible affectations by members.”
In countries where Christianity is persecuted, it might be much less likely for a recognizable Christian subculture to form apart from the distinctions in the Bible itself. However, in a country like the United States, where a certain form of cultural power has been afforded to members of the Christian subculture, the influence of this subculture then changes how we live our lives. This is exemplified by the fact that both Taylor Swift (a secular pop icon) and Billy Graham (a Christian evangelist) could fill stadiums with crowds of people.
The Questions We Measure Ourselves By Within Subcultures
So, in addition to measuring our Christian lives by our adherence to biblical mandates, we also begin to ask questions relating to how we fit within our Christian subculture and community. The ways we evaluate this is by asking questions like:
- What actions, behaviors, mannerisms, speech patterns, or forms of expression are encouraged?
- What behaviors or forms of expression have I received praise for within my community?
- What roles or functions within this community are most respected?
- What behaviors, mannerisms, speech patterns, or forms of expression receive adverse reactions from community members? (Negative facial expressions, stares, negative comments, or social isolation)
- What are the behaviors, mannerisms, speech patterns, or forms of expression that were exhibited by people who are no longer a part of this community?
Communities Built on Common Interests
As we answer these questions, sometimes subconsciously, we begin to conform our own behaviors, mannerisms, speech patterns, and forms of expression to the community in which we hope to belong. This is not bad! This is always a part of forming a community together with a collection of people.
Communities are often formed by assembling a group of people with similar interests. For Christian churches, the common interest is Christ. However, as churches form their own Christian subcultures, it becomes easy for other shared interests to become important facets of the community values as well. These additional shared interests might be our music taste, cultural background, socioeconomic status, life stage, or political affiliations.
Evaluating Our Biases
As we measure our worth, likeability, and status within our chosen church subculture, we start to adopt shared values and start to measure other people by them as well.
All of a sudden, we might find ourselves staring a little longer at the tattooed biker who walks through the church foyer. We might find ourselves wanting to make a comment about what someone was wearing. We might feel less likely to approach and welcome the single dad with kids from multiple marriages. Whether or not we push these initial instincts aside and extend a warm greeting anyway, the church subculture has still revealed its effect on us.
The Subtlety of All Things Biblical, Abiblical, and Unbiblical
Though church communities, biblical teaching, and Christian morals often have a positive effect on our behaviors and actions, it’s just as possible for our Christian subcultures to imbue biases and beliefs that don’t come from Scripture. The tricky part is that the line between the two is often blurry. The ways that biblical (from the Bible), abiblical (not from the Bible), and unbiblical (against the Bible) ideas become ingrained and internalized are subtle and subconscious. We don’t realize why we do what we do until we stop and examine our actions and responses, seeking the core belief they stem from.
Because of this, one person might do a good thing with bad intentions, and another person might do a bad thing with good intentions. One pastor might be in it for God’s glory, and another pastor might be in it for his own glory. But it’s rarely that black and white. Most people have some level of cognitive dissonance in regard to their behavior and beliefs.
Was It Really All for God’s Glory?
How often do we say we’re doing something for God and realize later that we were actually doing it for social acceptance, personal fulfillment, or selfish gain?
Have you ever helped someone to gain their approval?
Have you ever served at church out of obligation rather than obedience?
Have you ever done something for God’s glory but been disappointed when you weren’t complimented about it?
Have you ever said, “Your will be done, Lord,” and then gotten angry when He didn’t do it how you expected?
Have you ever daydreamed about the ministry impact you would have, all the people you might lead to salvation, or the transformation you would cause?
Have you ever participated in safe and predictable roles like a greeter or clean-up crew member so you could meet your “Christian quota” while staying in your comfort zone?
Have you ever shown up for church, small group, or Bible study and enjoyed the programming without actually interacting with Jesus through it?
Your answers to each of these questions will be different than mine. There may be one question here that sticks out to you, or there may be a different question that would be more relevant. But the reality is that human beings often don’t realize why they are doing what they’re doing. Sometimes, we are responding to a set of past circumstances that wounded us or reacting to anxious hypotheticals that haven’t happened yet. Our unique mix of experiences, scars, and overcorrections often subconsciously drive our motivations and behaviors in ways we don’t realize without deep introspection. So, even when we say we’re doing it all for Jesus, it’s usually a little more complex than that. It’s often a both/and. Yes, we want to glorify God AND we want to [fill in the blank] (i.e. – people-please, prove ourselves, feel worthy, see results, etc).
The Problem of Moralization and Overspiritualization
Because most of us mix up the ethics taught to us in childhood, church, and culture into a fun little cocktail, the things we perceive to be “right and wrong” are rarely so simple. For example, a Danish family may see punctuality as a high priority, while a Mexican family may value unhurried conversation more than showing up to their next engagement on time. Neither is right or wrong – they are merely cultural preferences. But the Danish family may moralize timeliness as next to godliness and start to view their neighbors as lazy, rude, or downright offensive. On the other hand, the Mexican family might feel that their Danish neighbors are cold, uncaring, and hostile for rushing on to the next event so abruptly.
Though I suspect this may be a relatable example for many of us because time-keeping is frequently moralized, I also want to use this example as a case study of how easy it is for us to attach morality to things that are neither innately right nor wrong. Most of us aren’t trying to be legalistic Pharisees, of course, but we still attach weight to ambiguous actions and events around us.
For example, have you ever found yourself thinking differently about people who are early risers versus those who stay up late? Do you attach morality to one over the other?
What about grades on a test – do you see this as just an indicator of understanding, or do you see A’s as right and F’s as wrong? Do you see star students as good people and failing students as bad people? These are all signs that you’ve attached morality to something that is not innately moral nor immoral in itself.
The Scary Thing About Good Intentions
Now, to become the most compassionate people we can be, I believe it is valuable for each person to do their own internal examination identifying where they have disproportionately over-spiritualized or moralized behaviors or events in their lives. However, for the purpose of this blog post, we are focusing on the ways Christian subcultures have done this collectively. To identify how your church might be moralizing unnecessarily, you can ask the questions below. If these questions illuminate something that’s slightly off-kilter or askew in your church community, do not despair! That simply shows that the questions have done their job.
Every church community leans too far one way or another sometimes, so this is not a condemnation of your church. But it is important that we are humble enough to ask these questions and be honest with ourselves. Don’t let yourself minimize problematic discoveries by defending the good intentions at play. 99% of the time, church people have good intentions. T.S. Elliot is quoted as saying, “Most of the evil in this world is done by people with good intentions.” It’s unlikely that any unhealthy patterns were created maliciously, but that doesn’t mean they won’t cause harm. So identifying them is the first step to bringing balance and restoration.
Questions to Perform a Church Health Check
There are many quizzes, assessments, and articles to evaluate if your pastor and church leadership are functioning in a biblical way. These evaluations are vital to church health, too, but since those resources are so plentiful, I have a different objective in mind.
How often have you been prompted not to evaluate the leadership for biblical foundation but to evaluate the culture for health? There are many churches that are functioning biblically but are not healthy. Ideally, those two would be one and the same. Unfortunately, emotional health, relational health, and spiritual health have been discredited with Bible verses for so long that many have been convinced health is secondary.
So, how do we evaluate the health of a culture?
- Has there ever been a time when people at church used Christian words, but you felt uncomfortable like something was off?
- Have people ever left your church on bad terms, and did you feel like you could ask questions about it?
- Have you ever given up things that you liked doing because of something someone at church said, did, or implied?
- Have you ever felt the pressure to maintain a happy appearance at church, even if you were sad or struggling internally?
- Have you ever felt an unspoken pressure to sugarcoat your critique of the pastor or the church leadership because your honest criticism (even in good faith) wouldn’t be taken well?
- Have you ever been a part of a church group or ministry team that spoke of the participants as “family,” but your experience of this felt insincere, superficial, or dysfunctional?
- Have you ever felt like you weren’t doing enough at church or felt defensive about your decision to pull back on your obligations?
- Were there any aspects of the church culture, past events, former staff members, or leadership decisions that you felt strongly discouraged from talking about or asking questions about?
- Did you ever perceive that the members of your church felt superior to those who didn’t go to your church or have a Christian faith?
- Were there any Christian authors, political parties, media, or theological ideas that you felt you couldn’t express disagreement with without church members being surprised and appalled?
- Conversely, were there any influencers, movies, books, celebrities, policies, social justice issues, or theological ideas you felt you couldn’t express approval of without the dismay of those in your church?
- Is there any (abiblical, not unbiblical) style you could wear, question you could ask, group you could spend time with, or topic you could post about that would cause people to question your integrity and faith?
No matter your answers to these questions, don’t allow yourself to explain away or jump into “fix it mode.” Instead, simply start by observing without the pressure to make any conclusions yet.
Where Do We Go From Here?
This list of questions was not meant to be a “how to tell if you should leave your church” list. The things on this list are not make-it-or-break-it issues. Many churches that have biblical frameworks and great leadership can still have unhealthy tendencies sometimes. So if you’ve identified any of them, you’re in exactly the right spot. Whether identifying these things is cathartic or concerning to you, this deeper honesty creates space for deeper health to occur.
As we move forward in this blog series, we will dissect some specific facets of the church subculture that have led to unhealthy patterns and stunted our faith experience. But for now, let me leave you with this:
A Little Goes a Long Way to Shift Church Subcultures
I have seen deeply unhealthy churches begin to shift the current of their culture in just a matter of years once people were aware of issues and desired to recalibrate them. And the beauty about subculture is it’s often not dictated from the top down. Your pastor is the leader of your church, but he is not the leader of your church subculture. Subcultures shift as people change the way they talk, dress, behave, and participate within the group. Just look at how slang changes from decade to decade – it’s often the young people who begin to use phrases like “that’s fire” instead of “that’s groovy.” As they speak differently and behave differently, the subculture shifts, and attitudes begin to change collectively. You can create the same change!
If you notice your church has a pressure to appear perfect and happy all the time, you can be the one that creates space and empathy for people to be honest about their struggles on a Sunday morning. If you notice that there’s a general bias against a certain type of visitor, you can be the one who invites your friends to welcome that visitor in. The problems with collective cultural and subcultural issues feel so massive because they can cause such significant harm over time, but the beauty of subcultures is that just like a river current, sometimes just dropping in the tiniest pebble can shift the way the water moves. Just like a little mustard seed forms a massive bush and just like a little leaven creates a bountiful loaf of bread, Jesus knew that we all needed to be reminded that a little goes a long way. If that’s what Jesus did with just 12 people to create a worldwide, everlasting movement of discipleship, you can create lasting change in your Christian subculture through those small changes, too.
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