Sometimes God’s just not all He’s cracked up to be…or so it seems.
Growing up in the church clearly taught me one thing: Jesus is the answer. This simplistic concept seemed so profound, but when the rubber hit the road, I didn’t know how to apply that. It seemed abstract. I would think, “Yeah, I know Jesus is the answer, but how? I’m in pain right now, and He’s not gonna come down from heaven to take the pain away, so I just don’t get it.”
In practice, when people said “Jesus is the answer,” they meant “reading your Bible and praying is the answer.” These aren’t bad disciplines, but they can become very works-based or task-oriented. If the answer to every problem were just reading my Bible and praying more, I would conclude that every time I was in pain, I must not have tried hard enough. I must not have read my Bible enough or prayed earnestly enough. In practice, that becomes a very shame-driven spiral that doesn’t always help.
In addition to this misconception, I felt intimidated by the thought of praying more. If I was already in pain or already overwhelmed, addressing God at that moment sometimes felt like it was too much. If I had truly believed God was delighted to speak to me, even in my imperfections, I might not have felt so intimidated. But I had become tangled in a web of lies and misconceptions about who God really was, leading me to avoid Him when I was struggling and draw near to Him when I was doing well.
This pattern is common for many of us because we all have misconceptions about God. This was the enemy’s first tactic to put distance between God and Adam and Eve. For Eve, he instilled doubt that God was good or had her best interest at heart. All it takes is a slight doubt for a lie to form and bloom into a full-blown belief that dictates your action. So today, it’s time to reclaim your belief in a loving and compassionate God by dispelling the myths you’ve unknowingly developed about His character. These are the most common lies we believe about God:
God is Not Angry at You
Many of us in the church are vividly aware of our own failings. We know our imperfections and try to hide them because it’s scary to feel like you’re not good enough. This is an even bigger reality for the people pleasers in the group whose sole goal is to make sure no one’s mad at us. It goes without saying, then, that it’s easy to feel like God could be mad at you when you mess up. It’s an easy jump to take, but that doesn’t mean it’s true. Here’s the better truth: You are not your sin. We’re all messy in our own ways, but God’s not up in heaven rating you with a score based on how well you did. This is not a pass/fail assignment. Your actions, however messy they are, do not define who you are as His child. When a child draws on the wall, their parent doesn’t kick them to the curb! Instead, they know that their child is with them for life, and they celebrate that, even if it means scrubbing crayon off a wall once in a while. God smiles at you, whether it’s been a good or bad day. You don’t have to please people with Him.
God’s Not Giving You the Silent Treatment
Sometimes in your life, it feels like God’s not speaking. There are several reasons for this, but the answer is NEVER that He’s giving you the silent treatment. God’s not petty like that. He’s not out to spite you. Sometimes God’s silence is an act of grace because He wants to hear you get everything off your chest – He’s not ignoring you; He’s listening to you. Other times, He’s working on something bigger than you realize. Maybe your question will become irrelevant when you see what He’s doing. Perhaps He’s gently whispering, “just wait, my child! You’ll see.” Other times, God is silent to grow your trust and dependence on Him even when you don’t understand the big master plan of it all. He is silent for a reason, and that reason is always with your best interest at heart. He doesn’t always give us the answers we want on the timeline we want, but He’s not plugging his ears or turning His back on you.
God’s Not Withholding Good Things From You
This was one of the first lies Eve believed about God, wasn’t it? By suggesting that God had told them not to eat from a tree that would give them the knowledge of good and evil, the enemy planted a seed of doubt for her to wonder why God would withhold that. It seemed like such a good thing…was God being selfish and keeping it all to Himself? We are faced with the same doubts today, whether God closes the door to the house you wanted, the job you wanted, or just placed you in a season of life you don’t want to be in. The temptation here is to believe He must be cruel for keeping you from having good things. But again, we must remember that our perspective is tainted. We desire unhealthy things all the time. Our definition of “good” is not always accurate, and we don’t always have insight into the unknowns God does. If He says no, there’s a reason. And that reason is often very benevolent because He’s protecting you from dangers or dysfunction you can’t even see.
God’s Not Withholding Himself from You
Humans are petty, awkward, and sometimes downright dysfunctional. But God is not made in our image and is not prone to the same flawed relational dynamics. For most people, this myth stems from a lie they believe about themselves. If you think they’re not good enough or you’re a second-class citizen in God’s economy, then the logic follows that God may want to avoid you. While humans do this to evade uncomfortable situations, Jesus doesn’t feel awkward about your insufficiencies. Instead, He offers His power in your weakness.
A perfect example of this is the prodigal son. The father in this story could have easily avoided His son after such a deliberate display of rebellion and disrespect. Instead, as the son returns on the road home, the father runs to embrace Him. Jesus feels the same about you. No matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done, Jesus eagerly invites you back home with open arms.
God is Not Going to Harm You
When humans are scared, sometimes they self-sabotage and hurt the people they love to push them away. God doesn’t do this. He is not going to lash out at you. However, it’s crucial to understand the difference between hurt and harm. Harm causes lasting damage and destruction. But not every moment of pain is harmful. Think of how much it stings to pour alcohol or salt into a wound. There is no pain quite like it. Yet, the burning sensation you feel is helping to clean out your wound so it can heal. It’s painful (hurtful, even) but not harmful. Sometimes, Jesus will cleanse and sanctify you in ways that hurt, but He’s doing it for the sake of your health and healing. This is illustrated in C.S. Lewis’ magical story The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe:
“Aslan is a lion – the Lion, the great Lion,” said Mr. Beaver.
“Ooh,” said Susan. “I’d thought he was a man. Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.”
“…Safe?” said Mr. Beaver, ” Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”
Lewis’ later book, The Silver Chair, illustrates a similar concept as Aslan offers young Jill a drink from the stream, though she is intimidated by the large lion before her.
“Will you promise not to — do anything to me, if I do come?” said Jill.
“I make no promise,” said the Lion.
Jill was so thirsty now that, without noticing it, she had come a step nearer.
“Do you eat girls?” she said.
“I have swallowed up girls and boys, women and men, kings and emperors, cities and realms,” said the Lion. It didn’t say this as if it were boasting, nor as if it were sorry, nor as if it were angry. It just said it.
“I daren’t come and drink,” said Jill.
“Then you will die of thirst,” said the Lion.
“Oh dear!” said Jill, coming another step nearer. “I suppose I must go and look for another stream then.”
“There is no other stream,” said the Lion.”
God is not Disgusted with You
If this lie pops up in your mind, it may be because you have experienced being known and not loved. It’s the great dichotomy of life. We deeply desire to be fully known and fully loved. The late Tim Keller once wrote,
“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”
If you have ever revealed something vulnerable about yourself and then not been met with compassion or comfort, you may fear that person was rejecting you or disgusted with you at some level. Therefore, we wonder if God does the same, especially since He can see all our most vulnerable moments. If you’re fearful His response may be of rejection or disgust, your inner shame will cause you to hide, just like Adam and Eve did in the garden.
Jesus doesn’t want you to hide from Him. Zephaniah 3:17 says, “The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” That’s the kind of God we serve! He’s the kind of God that smiles when you walk into the room because He’s happy to see you and gets excited when you greet Him in prayer because He loves spending time with you. You don’t need to hide from that kind of God!
God is Not Annoyed with You
If you’ve ever felt like a burden or inconvenience, you may wonder if even God gets annoyed with you sometimes. The exciting truth is that He doesn’t. He invites your persistence. He wants you to pray for the things that weigh on your heart, especially if you feel the burden of praying for them over and over.
If you struggle to believe this, you’ve got to read Matthew 15 and Luke 18. These are both stories where Jesus commends people for their persistence. In Matthew 15, a woman cries out after Jesus and His disciples as they walk on the road. The disciples are annoyed, but Jesus isn’t. She is asking for healing for her demon-possessed daughter. Jesus initially responds, saying His focus is on the Israelites rather than the Gentiles. But she argues back, making her case for why Jesus should help. Jesus responds to her boldness by commending her faith and granting her request. It was her persistence that ignited Christ’s compassion.
In Luke 18, Jesus tells a parable about an unjust judge and a woman begging for His mercy. The text says he didn’t care about his people, yet because of her persistence, he granted her request and extended justice to her people. If that is how an uncaring and hardened judge responds, how much more do we think God will respond to His people when they ask for help? Jesus concludes by asking, “But how much of that kind of persistent faith will the Son of Man find on the earth when he returns?” In this simple question, He both emphasizes the value of the woman’s boldness and encourages us to do the same.
He is not annoyed with you. On the contrary, he invites you to be even more persistent because that’s how things get done in the Kingdom!
God is Not Condemning You
It’s easy to internalize condemnation when we grow up hearing that we’re sinners in need of a savior. It’s a human response to assume sinful behavior affirms a concerning conclusion about who we are at our core. We think that our sin defines us, and therefore God condemns us. This goes directly against the text in Romans 8:1-4, which says,
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.”
Was there at once point condemnation, wrath, and judgment for your sin? Yes. But Jesus took all that upon Himself when He took your punishment on the cross. The requirement has already been fulfilled, and the blood has already been spilled for your sin, so there is no longer any condemnation for YOU. When God the Father looks at you, He sees righteousness – Not because you’re always righteous, but because Christ’s righteousness always covers your sin. 2 Corinthians 5:21 affirms this by saying, “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”
God Does Not Only Love You If You Behave
God didn’t create us to be robots. If He wanted mindless compliance, He could have created that. But good behavior is not His ultimate goal…so why is it yours? We hear the phrase unconditional love so much that it loses meaning, but it’s still hard to believe. That’s because we equate our actions with our worth. In a Western culture focused on mastering techniques, streamlining efficiency, and producing more, we forget that we have innate value apart from what we DO. Ask yourself this: Do I believe that God loves me just because? Do my actions reflect that?
Most of us, at some level, believe that we need to do more or do better to please God. What if that wasn’t true? What if there was nothing you could do to make God love you any more than you’re already loved in this present moment? (Romans 8:38-39) Your actions are just the cherry on top.
Do you have people in your life that you love because of who they are? Even we can fall into the trap of loving people because of what they do for us. If you’ve ever described why you love someone with an action they perform in your life, that’s what’s happening. But do you have people you just love being around for no reason other than you love who they are? That’s how God feels about you. The most life-changing thing you could ever do in your faith is honestly believe you are beloved. It’s your constant state of being, and nothing can change it. Your belovedness is not based on your behavior. What a wonderful truth!
Next Steps to Overcome Lies You Believe About God
There are so many more lies we each believe about God. Which ones do you find yourself falling into over and over again? On your bad days, which lies feel the most true? Take a few moments today to write them down. Then, look up some Scriptures that directly contradict them with God’s own Words. Overcoming deeply ingrained beliefs doesn’t happen overnight, so give yourself grace. Maybe you need to look in the mirror and speak the truth aloud to yourself. Perhaps you should write down the verse and put it somewhere you’ll see daily. Maybe you need to tell a friend to remind you of this when you get into a rut. The good news is: God is rarely who you fear He’ll be. He’s so much more loving, compassionate, benevolent, and gracious. And He loves spending time with you! So spend a little extra time with Him today, just receiving His love and enjoying His presence.
