Every day, we fight our own inner monologues, wondering if we’ve done a good job at work, if we’ve given enough to our loved ones, or if our anxious insecurities might be true. But at the end of the day, most of us just want someone to look us in the eyes and tell us we are loved.
The desire to be fully known and fully loved is the most human thing in the world. And if you’ve ever experienced this kind of love, you know how much it can brighten even your darkest day. So this February, you can show that same love to the family and friends in your life.
So often we get bogged down by the to-do lists, work stressors, and everyday tasks without taking much time to think about how we can brighten someone’s day. And though a simple, “I love you” goes a long way, we can show love in a multitude of thoughtful ways that really show we care. So here are seven ways to say, “I love you,” in different words:
1. I see your hard work.
Most of your loved ones are working hard every day without much acknowledgment of the good work they’ve accomplished. Simply acknowledging the energy they’ve poured into the many areas of their life can make them feel so seen. They may shrug it off at first because “it’s all in a day’s work,” but this is your opportunity to press in and encourage them. Identify their strengths or talents, and specific ways they have excelled. Be specific about what you appreciate about them and the skills they possess that inspire you.
2. I brought you a snack.
I firmly believe that food is the forgotten love language. God created us to be excited about different foods and flavors. Simply knowing someone’s favorite food is a great way to show that you know them. Knowing someone’s food sensitivities and providing something they can eat at an event or meal can make them feel deeply cared for. So whether you bake an intricate recipe for them, or pick up their favorite coffee order or candy bar while running errands, it will surely bring a smile to their face.
3. This made me think of you.
The easiest way to show that you care about someone is by demonstrating that they are on your mind even when you aren’t with them. So, as you’re out shopping, thrifting, or perusing your local museum gift shop, keep your eye open for something that makes you think of them. It might be based on a quirky inside joke, match the decorations in their home, or just be something they wouldn’t buy for themselves. But arriving at their doorstep and saying, “Here, this made me think of you,” will absolutely make them feel loved.
4. I did the thing you hate, so you don’t have to.
We all have chores, tasks, or errands we dislike. We do them because we’re responsible adults, but what would it feel like to have them taken off our plate for a day? Give this gift to the people you love by doing something they hate. Maybe that’s washing their dishes, shoveling their driveway, folding their laundry, taking their car for an oil change, or even accompanying them to the DMV (because everyone hates the DMV).
5. Take the night off.
People are often not as kind to themselves as their loved ones are. Even when people are exhausted and burnt out, they will still push through. This presents a great opportunity for you to give them the gift of permission to take a break. Whether that means texting them from several states away, or taking the dish towel out of their hands and replacing it with a cup of tea, you can make space for them to rest for an evening doing something they enjoy.
6. Can I give you a hug?
When we are in close proximity with people living our day-to-day lives, we aren’t always intentional to show them physical affection “just because.” You may hug your friend to say hello or kiss your spouse to say goodnight, but how often do you give them a spontaneous hug or put your arm around their shoulder? It’s these “just because” moments that can mean the most because there’s no social expectation or societal norm you’re complying with – instead, you just want to show your love in the moment because that person means a lot to you.
7. I’m taking you on an adventure.
Have you ever pulled up to your friend’s house, or dragged your significant other out to the car and taken them on an adventure? This is different than a regular date or hangout because it’s spontaneous and it’s created just for them. By planning an adventure, you take the pressure off of your loved one to plan it themselves. So, instead of asking them to decide where to eat or figure out a spot to meet, your spontaneous adventure says, “I want to spend time with you, and I love you enough to plan an outing you will enjoy.”
Love can be shown in so many ways. We do not lack options, but sometimes, we do need to pause from the hustle and bustle of our day and ask how we can show love more intentionally. The thing that all these acts of love have in common is thoughtfulness. They require you to think of what your loved one likes and dislikes, what they are good at, and how they spend their day. But simply by taking a few moments to ask, “how can I show extra love to _______ today?” you can give them a memorable moment that will stick in their minds. That’s how you say “I love you” in different words.
