Are you sick of feeling like you’ve failed? Studies show that 80% of New Year’s Resolutions peter out by the second week of February.
The worst part of setting goals is feeling like you’ve failed. Whether you’ve missed a day or have given up altogether, it’s easy to get into a shame spiral of defeat. There must be a better way.
I haven’t always been a goal-setting enthusiast. As a child with undiagnosed ADHD and the unrelenting drive of a firstborn daughter, I was set up to fail from day one. Shame spirals were my forte. Until they weren’t. The secret is to set fail-proof goals designed to help you achieve them.
After learning these five crucial lessons, I’ve become obsessed with setting goals because nothing feels better than looking back over the past year and seeing how many goals have achieved. Do you want to experience this feeling at the end of 2024? Then start here:
1. Count Differently
For most people, the natural way to track New Year’s resolutions is with a calendar. But those of us who struggle with an all-or-nothing mentality feel like one missed day means we have failed. So why not count differently?
Drop a pebble into a jar whenever you do that habit. Use a “fundraising thermometer” to color in as you work towards your goal. As you watch the jar or thermometer fill up, you’ll visually see progress rather than seeing missed days. Or stop counting altogether and just reward yourself with a piece of candy or daily latte to give “today-you” a little more motivation to help “future-you.”
2. Remove Unnecessary Barriers
So often, the factors that cause friction against achieving our goals are easily removed.
- Does getting out of bed to turn off your light keep you from reading before bed? Get a bedside lamp or reading light.
- Does the prep time keep you from eating healthier foods? Then, buy pre-chopped veggies to have on hand or find powdered supplements you can put into food you already enjoy.
- Does the thought of going outside in the cold keep you from your daily walk? Look up walking workouts you can do from your living room.
- Does the challenge of deciding which Scripture passage keep you from opening your Bible? Keep your Bible open at your desk or go through a reading plan on the Bible app to listen to each day’s passage while brushing your teeth.
Why make it hard on yourself? There’s no such thing as cheating when implementing healthier habits.
3. Trust Your Instincts
If a goal immediately sounds out of reach, you’re probably right. You are the expert of your own schedule. If you are a routine-resistant person, maybe setting a time every morning to exercise won’t work for you. Perhaps your goal is to hit a certain number of steps throughout your day or get your heart rate up at least once daily.
If you already have specific habits built into your life, use them as leverage to incorporate new habits. If you already wash your face every morning, then start integrating skincare into the routine that’s already in place. If you already spend 15 minutes driving to work each day, begin incorporating your prayer time into that time. Trust your gut and find creative ways to set yourself up for success!
4. Break It Down
If you’ve never heard about S.M.A.R.T. goals, then you need to read this article! S.M.A.R.T. stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. This is one way to set goals that are within reach. You can also set achievable goals by breaking a large goal into smaller pieces. Learning a new language in 2024 may feel like a lofty goal. So, where do you start? Studies show that it takes about 480 hours to reach basic fluency. So, you will reach your goal if you spend 60-90 minutes each day for an entire year.
Similarly, if you want to read through the Bible in a year, you can find reading plans that list how much to read daily. For most plans, it’s approximately 20 minutes of reading each day. Ask yourself what you need to achieve each quarter, month, week, or day to achieve your larger goal, and then go from there. 
5. Let Go of Shame and Self-Sufficiency
We are our own worst critics, which often means we beat ourselves up when we fail to meet our goals. Instead of criticizing your reasonable attempts, you can let go of internalized shame around your productivity. Instead, learn to cheer yourself on. Whenever you fall short of your goal, celebrate what you did achieve.
Maybe one day, you weren’t feeling motivated to exercise because you were tired and took a nap. Instead of calling yourself lazy, cheer yourself on for listening to your body’s cues and taking some much-needed rest.
Getting stuck in a rut of self-sufficiency is easy, especially when achieving goals. But as Christians, we don’t have to do it ourselves. We can depend on the power of the Holy Spirit within us. When you’re about to give up, ask Him for His strength. When you lack motivation, ask Him to help you desire what He desires for you. And remember: He delights in you. His love is never dependent on your productivity. So be at peace. Even if you never did another thing, God wouldn’t love you any less.
